Retaliation
by Nixanne
Summary: Retaliate: v To strike back. An unexpected turn of events present itself before Isabella Swan. When danger threatens to strike in many ways, not only her life is at stake, but the lives of her loved ones as well. PostTwiPreNMEcBD Rated T for Language.
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes:** This is my first shot on Twilight FanFiction. Please help me by reviewing, criticize constructively if you must. Chapters 1 and 2 are done. I'm going to post them in a few days tops. When I get good feedback. I thank all Twilight FanFiction Authors, for making me see the beauty in the book and helping start this.

This is edited. I thought to add up some characters to spice things up.

* * *

**Prologue**

As she came up and talked to me, without thinking, I slapped her. Then I suddenly remembered that it had no effect on her

"What the!" She said in surprise, I noticed her topaz eyes were slowly swirling with black, for a second then went back to the original hue they were in earlier

I growled in anger, or what I thought was a growl and raised my hand up to get the teacher's attention.

"Mr. Ferrer, may I be excused? I don't feel so well." I tried to act as if I'm dizzy and went out f the room.

I made my way towards my truck in tears. I felt so bad, not because of slapping her, it because of what _he_ did to me. He never apologized for kissing her, so I never bothered hearing his side.

Because I realized something…

Unless he does change me, there will be no us.

I will do as what he wishes, I'll be with someone else.

Or…

He did say that my smell was very tempting, not just to him…

But…

I sighed and then it began to rain, as if heaven understood and felt my grief.

I went inside my truck, to protect myself against the wrath of nature, thinking and reflecting.

My old friend, Kiara was right.

If you can't beat 'em join 'em.

And that's what I'm going to do.

I'm gonna find my own guy instead of moping out and about…

I'm gonna find another guy to make him sorry.

I'm gonna make him feel what he did to me…

I'm gonna start off with my appearance

The shopping trip in Port Angeles wasn't all that useless, I might consider going back there sometime

Finally some use for all those sexy stuff I bought I thought I could use when going out with Edward.

It seems that I'm about to use it _against_ him instead of using it_ for_ him...

Enticing clothes…

Vivacious make-up…

Gorgeous accessories…

Killer shoes…

A new attitude…

A new Bella…

They say revenge is a dish best served cold…

And I've got just the perfect recipe for Edward Cullen…

And to make it tastier…I'm gonna invite someone who's bound to make this game better…

_**I don't need you, anymore. **_

_**I don't want to be ignored.**_

_**I don't need one more day of you wasting me away.**_

_

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_

Any BETA available anyone? Email me.


	2. Ordinary Day

**Chapter 1: Ordinary Day**

I was awakened when a cool breathing had hit my face. I can still feel that familiar cool breathing at my neck, the same one that had woken me up. I could feel the cool strong arms encircle my waist. My heart started beating faster.

"Good morning Love." Edward said, kissing the back of my neck.

"Good morning. How'd you know I was awake, I haven't even opened my eyes yet." I pouted.

"Silly Bella, you stopped sleep talking that's why." I opened my eyes and he gave me that crooked smile I loved so much. "And when you knew I was here, your heart started beating faster"

I didn't believe his former excuse, but his smile made me forget my question.

Before I even knew it, I was in his arms and then in the rocking chair.

"Rock a bye baby on the tree top…" He began to sing as he rocked me back and forth.

"EDWARD!" I screamed as I tried to get off him, but noo…I only managed to sit down his lap.

He chuckled at me, while I frowned.

"I'm sorry Bella." He said with mocking remorse, he knew I couldn't get angry with him.

"Human moment." I said as I got up off of him, grabbed my bag of toiletries and got my undergarments, a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt with floral design.

"Do you want me to go with you?" He teased me.

"No thanks Edward." I smiled as sweetly as I can, he grumbled then sat back down on the

rocking chair.

I stepped inside the shower, and let the warm water for get all of my problems for a while, soothe my nerves and refresh me. I shampooed my hair with the strawberry scented shampoo he loved so much.

As I finished taking my shower, I placed my towel around me and began combing my hair. Miraculously, it was working together with my comb today. I put on my clothes and went out of the bathroom and went straight to open the dresser to get my hair dryer.

"Can I blow dry your hair please?" His eyes were big, pleasing and very topaz. Dang, he was dazzling me again.

"S—sure" I was staring at his eyes with fascination.

He took the brush and the hair dryer from my hand easily, taking advantage of my dazzled state. Stupid, god-like, gorgeous, dazzling vampire

He chuckled as he plugged the dryer and started to comb my hair.

"I love your scent, its so soothing." He breathed in the strawberry scent of my tresses.

I blushed, I knew it, I could feel the warmth creeping up my face, and I tried willing it to stop, but no it kept on coming! My blood is a traitor!

"Done!" He stood up smiling, as he got a hair tie from my drawer.

He went back and began braiding my hair.

I sighed and closed my eyes, smiling.

"Done!" He smiled again.

Why do vampires have to have the ability to be fast?

With the blink of an eye he was standing up, and within three seconds, he was downstairs.

I ran down, but halfway, being me, Bella Swan, I tripped. My face was inches from the ground when Edward caught me.

"My little disaster magnet." He smiled.

I grumbled and so did my stomach. He laughed in response.

"What does the human want to eat?" He grinned at me.

"The human wants to eat cereal" I smiled at him, as I stood to get bowl, milk and my box of cereal.

"No, I'll get it." Edward sat me down.

"Fine." I grumbled.

In less than ten seconds, there's a bowl, a carton of milk and a box of cereal in front of me.

"And if you got it, it would've taken you what? A minute?" He grinned at me, while I poured cereal and milk and began to stuff myself with food.

How egotistical can he get?

After I ate Edward carried me to his silver Volvo.

"I can walk perfectly Edward!" I protested but sadly, he didn't listen. He's stubborn, I pouted, and he laughed. He knows it too.

Once after gently putting me into the passenger side of the car, he raced around to the other side and was in before you could say… well actually think of saying anything. He blasted off his Hybrid Theory CD, and then smiled at me.

"I know that this was the album you were listening to before, that night when you had a nightmare and the morning when your CD player fell off." He gave me stupid crooked smile that I loved again.

It was one of those nights when I still had no idea he watched me sleep, hear me sleep talking

or god knows what?

That stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

Before I knew it, we were at school. After my incident, as we all referred to my encounter with James, Edwards had been wooing the administrators to have all same classes as me. He even got Jasper to emit some kind of wave of gullible-ness or something of the sort. Personally I don't know, and I don't want to.

And Edward still refuses to change me.

It had become such a delicate topic that usually at the end of our argument, it would lead to him going back home or me into sobs. But either way, the next day, we pretended like nothing had happened.

Alice is still enthusiastic about me getting changed and told me not to give my hopes up. Of course she has to be careful in what she thinks around Edward when we talk about that. The last time he heard, umm…mind read; well let's just say there was a lot of growling…and shouting.

It was a Monday, and we had Biology first.

Mr. Banner had nothing in store for us this period so we had this as free hour. Mike tried to invite me to another beach party at La Push this coming weekend but I declined, knowing that Edward or Alice won't be allowed in there and knowing that if I do go, I won't be with Edward and Mike and Tyler and Eric and Jacob would be hitting on me.

Trigonometry passed in a blur and soon enough it was lunch. Mike tried once again to ask me into their La Push party, but once again I declined.

He finally decided to give up and announce the news to Jessica, Angela and Lauren. Jessica was filled with relief, in which Edward growled, Angela was disappointed and Lauren was smiling smugly.

"Did I already tell you that Angela's the only one I like among your friends?" Edward asked.

"Only for the 60th time and that's just for the past three days." I smiled at my angel, he smiled back at me, and then I pouted.

"What?" His topaz eyes full of curiosity.

"I feel insignificant…" I folded my arms across my chest, whenever he smiles, he looks absolutely gorgeous and well, I look stupid.

"Why?" His faced etched concern.

"Because…" I couldn't find the words. "Ugh! Just don't smile often…" I gave him, what to me is my best puppy dog pout.

He chuckled, his melodious laughter filling my ears "Silly Bella, you are the prettiest woman I have ever seen, nothing can ever compare to your beauty."

I blushed a good crimson before Rosalie interrupted us by clearing her throat.

"It's only five minutes left before the bell rings, I suggest we go." Rosalie said snidely.

The others nodded and we stood up, all five of them dumping their untouched trays.

While on our way outside the cafeteria, Alice's eyes and face went blank. From countless times and from experience, I knew she was having a vision.

When she was back to her normal self, I noticed her features were now etched with worry. She nodded at Edward, and then for a split second, Edward's eyes went pitch black with anger. Then they started talking growling again, and this usually signifies that they don't want me to know or get involved.

Edward turned to face me, his god-like face etched with worry and concern.

"Bella, were skipping for the rest of the day." He said slowly to me, as if he were talking to a five year old.

"Why?"

"Some matters should be taken care of." He said sternly.

"Does this have something to do with Alice's vision?" I asked weakly.

He merely nodded.

"I'll see you later Bella, Be safe. I love you" Then they, my brothers and sisters started to run off.

"I love you too Edward" I whispered, I knew he would've heard me.

I had government next, and I went to it with my face down. I was going to spend the remainder of the day without my angel.

**-0-0-0-**

Gym passed by uneventfully, we had baseball, which reminded me so much of the Cullen's. Sadly, what happened was I either hit the ball, but the ball would hit some unfortunate classmate or my bat flies off and hits someone. Luckily Coach Clapp saw all the damage I was causing and decided that I should take the bench. And for that, I shot him a thankful glance.

When we were finally dismissed, I saw Alice standing by my truck.

"Bella, please don't go to the house today." She said, her topaz eyes, pleading.

"Oh, why?" I frowned; I won't get to see Edward again.

"Please, it's just that, I don't think Edward would be able to go to school until the next week. This matter has really become something big, and we didn't expect it to grow this large." She said exasperated.

"Fine I won't, but Alice can you please just tell me what this is all about?" I asked back, just as exasperated as she was.

"I will, or rather Edward will, once everything's sorted out, but he didn't want me to tell you anything except for his absence." She compromised. "Well Bella, I've got to go now, I need to help with this matter." She said as she finally took off within a blink of an eye.

I sighed, started my truck and drove home, thinking on what problems my second family might be facing…

_**Just a day  
Just an ordinary day  
Just tryin to get by**_

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Props to: flippin sweet Twilight lover and danamarin for BETA-ing me. 

Chapter two will come out soon.

Comments, suggestions, violent reactions? Click the button:) I know this is cruel, but I will not update until I get reviews above 10...

I want to know what you think for me to improve..


	3. Without Him

**Chapter 2: Without Him**

It had begun to rain as I drove on my way home. The thumping of the droplets against the roof and windshield of my truck did not provide me with the silence I hoped for. Now it was distracting me from my reverie.

I sighed as I parked my car…or rather my truck in front of my home.

My home.

Before I used to hate this place, the rain, I always complained how it's always _too green_. But now…it had become my home. Ever since my angel and his family entered my life…Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and…I have to admit, Rosalie.

Forks had become my home.

And ever since my act, I had tried to repair my relationship with Charlie. And, to my happiness, he accepted me, as if nothing had happened even though, I know that our relationship had become much more fragile.

I got soaked under the rain, and the cruiser wasn't here yet. I had decided to prepare roast beef and mashed potatoes for the night.

I left them in the microwave and left a note saying it was there; just in case Charlie arrived and I was either in the bathroom or off for the night early.

As I made my way to the bathroom after I got my bag of toiletries and my night clothes, the phone rang. It was Jessica.

"_Hey Bella!" _Jessica greeted from the other side of the line.

"Oh, hey Jess." I said, rolling my eyes. Edward has told me how Jessica feels about me.

"_I called to ask you something."_

"What?"

"_Well, I wanted to know if you have plans with Edward tomorrow. I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a shopping trip with Angela, Lauren and I."_

Jessica mentioning Lauren, made me cringe. But ever since she found out what happened to me before prom, namely falling down two flights of stairs and out a window, we've been on better terms. But she still sometimes made my blood boil, after all she did backstab me. And who knows, she might still be backstabbing me now.

"No, I don't have any plans with Edward until next week. He won't be able to go to school, he and his family have got some big camping trip to go to soon and it's gonna take a while." I lied, covering for Edward and hoping that Jessica wouldn't notice me crying.

"_Bella you're lying. You know you can tell me anything."_ Jessica sounded genuinely concerned and I decided to tell her the truth. That I didn't know anything, and I don't know what's going on with Edward, and that I have no idea where they are right now.

For all I know, they could be in Alaska with the Denali Clan at the moment.

"_Well, we'll go shopping for clothes. That will make him sorry for leaving you just like that. We'll make him beg and drool." _She said with determination. It gave me new hope.

"Oh, alright." I finally said after much hesitation.

"_Don't worry Bella, you wont regret this. Some shopping therapy just for you." _Jessica said happily.

"Thanks."

"_No prob. Well, I have to go tell Angela and Lauren. See you!" _She said excitedly.

"See you." I replied.

I placed down the receiver and went to the communal bathroom that Charlie and I are sharing.

I switched on the shower, tapping my foot while waiting for it to heat, absentmindedly humming the sweet lullaby that Edward wrote for me. Momentarily forgetting what had happened earlier...

Now that I realized it, I smiled and stepped into the shower. The warm water soothed and calmed my nerves, which made me think about what's been happening lately.

Tears suddenly came into my eyes once again as I thought about Edward and what possible secrets he might be keeping from me.

He of all people should know that I hate being in the dark.

He of all people should know that I hate secrets being kept from me.

When I finally finished I put on my clothes my clothes, a big t-shirt and some old sweatpants. I brushed my hair until it was tamed, then proceeded to my bedroom.

What Alice said today kept ringing on my head…

"_He didn't want me to tell you anything except for his absence"_

_**All the things she said running through my head, running through my head.**_

"_Please, it's just that, I don't think Edward would be able to go to school until the next week."_

What could be so important and dangerous that he didn't want me involved?

Keeping secrets from me usually meant danger.

And how dangerous could it be that it could take him a week?

I'd been too busy trying to think of logical reasons to my own questions that I didn't hear the cruiser pull up and was oblivious to Charlie's presence until he knocked on my door. Saying that he already heated the dinner I prepared earlier.

"I'm not hungry dad, but I'll be down in a minute." I said, trying my best to act tired.

"Why don't you just get some shut-eye Bells? You're drained." It sounded more of a command than a suggestion though.

"Thanks Dad, will do. Bon Apetit." I stood up and gave him a goodnight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I went back to lie down on my bed, still thinking of what could be going on at the Cullens'.

Until I finally fell asleep…

**-0-0-0-**

I frowned when I woke up as I realized that Edward was not here. But what did help boost up my gloomy mood a bit was the bouquet of red roses by on top of my dresser. There was a tag attached to it, and the message made me smile, just even a little.

_Isabella,_

_I love you._

_Be Safe._

_Always._

I didn't need a signature to know who it was from. I know that neat, elegant script by heart.

My angel.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

I went through my morning ritual, this time wearing something plainer. A simple black long sleeved blouse with vertical white stripes and black pants, with black Converse sneakers.

I tied half my hair up, leaving the other one down and proceeded to go downstairs. Sadly, I had managed to trip three steps till the ground. I checked the clock, seeing that I only had 20 minutes before school starts, and without Edward's driving it will take me 15 minutes to reach school. So in my state of panic I grabbed an energy bar, ate it in three bites and gulped it down with milk. I ran, got the keys to my Chevy in the hook by the door, and miraculously, I managed to reach my truck without tripping.

I drove as fast as I could and as fast as my truck could take me.

I managed to make it in 12 minutes instead of 15. Something to brag about when Edward returns.

The half of the day passed on slowly, hearing teachers drone about the distributions of electrons and inequalities.

Seeing that the Cullens were not at school, I sat at Jessica's table. I was still disappointed that neither Edward nor Alice was here and Angela noticed that.

"That's okay Bella. We'll have fun at the shopping trip later!" Angela said enthusiastically.

"Thanks Angela." I smiled weakly at her, and that seemed to please her since she went back to eating her pizza.

**-0-0-0-**

Two more periods passed and then it was my most dreaded period. Gym. It was baseball again and Coach Clapp decided to bench me from the start to prevent any injuries. For that I was thankful. However, Mike kept asking me to watch a movie with him this Friday, seeing that it was Edward- free until next week, he's taking his chances.

Much to his dismay, Jessica's happiness and I know its very sadistic of me, my enjoyment…I kept on rejecting all of his offers saying that I have plans, when in truth my plans were to sulk about Edward's absence.

When Gym finally ended, I hurried to the lockers, trying as much as possible not to trip.

We, the girls and I, had agreed on a plan.

We'll all go home to change and drop off our cars, while Angela will come pick us up at our houses 20 minutes after we take our separate ways.

When I reached home, I called the police station to find Charlie gone. I had the secretary leave him a message saying that I would be gone with Jessica, Lauren and Angela and that I had already prepared dinner and he just needed to heat it in the microwave. I prepared lasagna.

I changed into more casual clothing, a blue t-shirt with floral designs and some denim jeans, with the same Converse shoes. I tied my hair to a high ponytail and lifted my mattress to get my savings which had accumulated to over 432.89 dollars. Thanks Edward or Alice always insisting to always buy my lunch.

Thirty minutes later, which was ten minutes later than planned. Angela arrived but with Jessica and Lauren in the car already. I straightened my blouse and headed off, locking the door.

We're going to a department store in Port Angeles, which was having a sale today. We reached our destination in 25 minutes and all went into the store hand-in hand.

We each got out baskets, and went our separate ways, but coming together again for cosmetic or outfit approval. We had found so much stuff that we had reached to two baskets each and went to the register to pay. Since the store was on sale, all our eight baskets filled with different clothes, cosmetics and accessories summed up to about 844 dollars… only paying about 211 dollars each.

We walked out of the store to place our bags…reaching up to four bags each, and planned on going to a café to eat dinner.

"That was fun!" Lauren exclaimed.

"Yeah!" I smiled.

We all ate Angel Hair pasta grated with parmesan cheese and some Coke. Then we left.

"So, have you thought of just spying on what Edward does?" Lauren asked.

"No." I said. _'Because he'll hear my heartbeat and my movements a mile away!' _My mind shouted, but I remembered that they didn't know what Edward was…or rather is.

"Try it; at least it'll make you worry less." Lauren said slyly.

Saying no would bring in more suspicion, so I gave in and sighed. "Turn left into the next intersection. That's the shortest way to the Cullen residence." Each word that came out of my mouth pushed away my wariness and gave way for hope, curiosity and nervousness.

_**I know your shadow hides, just what I need  
There's something there inside, I want to see  
I've got to take the lead, undercover lover**_

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Guys, I thank Danamarin and Elyse for BETA-ing my story. Okay this is the drill since I have two BETAs, I use their edited chapters alternately (ex: Pro: Dana, Ch.1: Elyse) So don't be confused if I have two different BETA formats.

Then I would like thank all of my reviewers.

Please leave commentary, suggestions or violent reactions.


	4. Traitorous

**Chapter 3: Traitorous **

I asked Angela to stop at a kilometer away form the house; I decided that it would be better if they didn't know the exact location and the house would be kept in subtlety.

I ran. I ran fast. I tried not to trip, but sadly I tripped twice.

I rushed through their driveway, running towards their porch, opening the door instantly and running my way to the stairs. I was thinking that Edward might be in Carlisle's office and decided to 'surprise' him by being in his room.

I stopped for a while to catch my breath and then proceeded running, as I turned the knob on Edward's door, there was a blur and Alice was right in front of me, her petite form blocking the slowly opening door.

"Bella no!" Alice pleaded, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Huh! Wha—" I was cut off, by what was behind Alice. Her petite form was not enough to cover the door; I saw everything.

It was Edward.

My Edward.

He was on the floor…or rather on the rug in the center of his room.

But…

He wasn't alone.

With him, is a very gorgeous woman and that was a stated fact.

She had long, wavy, shiny brown hair that reached just below her...from what I saw, was a C cup breasts. She had full red, enticing lips, a beautifully shaped nose, topaz eyes and supermodel-like body.

She's perfect. And she's a vampire.

Then my mind wasn't fully prepared for what happened next.

Edward had his eyes closed, as if thinking something deep. And then the girl, leaned into him, and kissed him fully on the lips. He didn't flinch, he didn't move; he didn't even react. When she pulled back, she had a smile on her lips.

I looked at the scene with big, shocked eyes. Blinking a couple of time to prevent the tears from coming down.

Then Alice was crying now, she was crying dry sobs.

The girl looked at me with an apologetic look.

And Edward…

That bastard…

Looked devastated, or maybe he tried to act to look devastated.

I did what I thought the first thing I should do.

I ran fast.

I darted out of the house but I felt a cold, steely grip in my wrist.

I turned to see it was Alice.

"Alice…" I started, traitorous tears falling down my cheeks. "Why? I thought we were best friends?" I wailed. "I trusted you Alice, I trusted you. Why?" I was shouting now.

"Bella…" She let go of my wrist, and collapsed to her knees, looking to the ground, her hands into fists firmly on the ground, and sobbing dryly.

Jasper came out to soothe his wife. Edward was on the porch, trying to apologize to me. But I didn't budge. I pretended not to notice or hear him. Then next Emmett emerges, carrying Rosalie, while she was screaming at the blond ditz.

Wow. So Rosalie did care for me.

Then, Esme emerged and went towards me; I shook my head very hard and backed up, not wanting her to come near me.

I started running again, I ran faster than I ever imagined. I felt my adrenaline rush. I reached Angela's car without tripping.

"Angela. Please. Drive. Now. And. Fast." I said slowly, emphasizing each word. Without question she drove off, as I began to sob.

"What happened, Bella?" Jessica asked with genuine concern, and Lauren was comforting me.

I kept crying that I couldn't talk so they patiently waited till I was sober enough to speak.

I sighed. "Well, I went in the house, expecting Edward to be in his father's office or something, so I decided I would surprise him when he sees me on his room." I paused, seeing if the three of them caught up with what I said.

Angela nodded, looking at me from the mirror. Jessica was rubbing my back, and Lauren was there, waiting for me to speak up while authentic worry etched her face.

"But then, I saw some girl kissing him on the lips. He didn't move, he didn't react, and he didn't even push her away." I said angrily. I clenched my hands into fists.

A few soothing words later, and we were at my place, thank god the cruiser wasn't there yet. In the middle of the sootha-palooza, I asked Angela to drop me first, and I as thankful that she did.

"Thanks guys, I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I got my shopping bags. "Save me a seat for lunch? All girls table tomorrow?" I asked them and they nodded, each having smiles on their faces.

I ran up the stairs, and into my room. Quickly getting my bag of toiletries ran to the bathroom and let the warm water forget all my problems for a while.

I dressed up in old jogging pants and an oversized t-shirt.

I brushed my hair and got my CD player and popped in my Linkin Park CD.

I went to my bed and cried myself to sleep while drowning out my thoughts with the music.

**-0-0-0-**

I woke up the next morning dizzy. My eyes hurt from crying too much yesterday and my hair was messier than ever. I pulled off the earplugs off my ear and got my toiletries and ran to the bathroom.

I dressed up, quickly, wearing whatever my hand touched first. Then I grabbed an energy bar, gulped down milk and ran to my truck, without tripping, seeing that I was too engrossed about getting late to school than thinking not to trip.

As I as driving my way to school, I examined myself and what I was wearing.

I gasped, as I realized, I was wearing a beige, butt hugging Capri pants, a knitted V-neck sweater with a low neckline we bought yesterday and my black Converse.

This was not Bella...

This is more of the Lauren or Jessica.

I debated to myself of whether I should return or not. I decided not to.

I reached school, to see that the stupid silver Volvo was there already, of course it was there already, the Cullens are good students.

I parked my truck as far away from the Volvo as possible and made my way to class. I got late into my Trigonometry class, seeing that it was first period. I saw Angela beaming at me as she tapped the seat next to her. I smiled to her, my heart filled with gratitude that I won't be sitting with Edward today.

After Trig we had Bio, and after that we had Government and then lunch.

Lunch was very interesting.

I sat with my girlfriends on another table. Separated from the Cullens or any of the boys for that matter. We were talking about what happened yesterday.

Inside, I was laughing because no matter how low our voices our, the Cullens could hear us perfectly, so I permitted myself a smile.

I looked into their table.

Alice was looking at me with apologetic eyes.

Jasper was looking at me with confused eyes.

Emmett, in sympathetic eyes.

Rosalie had a look that mixed slyness and smugness.

And Edward with a pained, broken look.

As I looked at him…

My face broke into a look I least expected, and my mind thought of a thought least expected.

My smile turned into a thin hard line. My stare grew cold, as if it could freeze a pitcher of water if it was placed in front of me. If he was human I wanted to go into the cafeteria kitchen, get a knife and stab him mercilessly. But I know that in doing it would bring no effect and would lead to the discovery of their family.

So my logical half, made me look away and we just talked about something else.

The bell rang and well all stood up, dumping all of my leftovers, seeing that I was unable to eat, ever since yesterday, when _it_ happened.

The rest of the day passed out in a blur, except in the parking lot Edward talked to me.

Or rather, Edward tried to talk to me, but I would not hear him out... his pained voice made me want to hug him, but I was controlling myself not to.

"_Bella, please, it's not what you think it is…"_

I refuse to hear him.

"_Bella, if I could just let you into my mind and show you my memory, I will"_

What was there to hear?

"_Bella…please just hear me out"_

He was there; he let a vampire ditz kiss him. He didn't do anything. He didn't pull away; I saw it all.

"_I'll explain to you why she kissed me in the first place."_

I know it's unfair that I wouldn't hear him out.

"_Bella, I thought we loved each other?"_

But what happened to me was unjustifiable; it hurt me more. And I saw it all.

I said the three lines that left him speechless.

_**Don't stay.**_

_**Forget our memories**_

_**Forget our possibilities

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**_

Props: To Elyse for BETAing me.

Such a saddening chapter, noh? Make sure to leave a review...or else.. no update.

Im serious..


	5. Truth

_**Props to: **Dana_

_****_

**_Sorry for the delay._**

**__**

**_Here it is._**

**

* * *

Chapter 4: Truth**

After I said those hurtful lies, I ran to my truck.

Yes.

Lies

I still love Edward Cullen

He's my life.

So why can't I hear him out?

I just realized that its not that I don't want to.

It because…

I'm not ready yet.

Not ready to face the truth.

Not ready to know if he did really cheat on me.

Not ready to know if he still loves me or not…

I drove on my way home, sobbing, gripping the steering wheel tight.

It's just one of those moments when you wished you weren't born.

When you wish you'd die.

Or when you wish you never existed at all.

When I reached home I walked slowly, and automatically went to the kitchen to prepare some dinner for Charlie. I placed it in the oven leaving him a note to just heat it for five minutes at 280 degrees.

As I made my way up, I tripped. Then sobbed, suddenly realizing how I missed those cool arms around my waist to catch me every time I tripped or fell.

I rushed into my room to get my bag of toiletries and my nightwear—sweat pants and oversized t-shirt.

I ran into the bathroom, turned on the water, and let the warm water hit my body, making me momentarily forget reality.

I opened the drawer by the sink after I had brushed my teeth and took out a box then made my way back into my room.

I gasped when I opened my door.

On top of my dresser was a vase filled with different colored roses.

There was a note.

_Bella,_

_I'm sorry, but please give me the chance to explain. I will tell you everything and anything you want to know. Please Bella, I want you back. I feel like an empty shell without you. Trust me Bella, please._

_Always,_

_Edward_

When I read the note, I collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

How could he do this to me?

Then I heard Charlie's cruiser park in front of the house and I rushed to my bed, pretending to be asleep.

I heard the door open and him mutter, "Sleep tight Bells."

When it closed again, I retrieved the box I got from the bathroom earlier and opened it.

It revealed two small blades. I had used them before. I was a pariah back in Phoenix. The populars, the jocks, would always be targeting me for their insults, making me an outcast whom no one wanted to be friends with. I was insulted because I lived in probably one of the sunniest places here in the country and yet I'm so white and pale. They failed to understand that my mother is part albino. I used these blades as an outlet for all the emotional pain I feel. Since I have no friends to share it with, I take it all out on physical pain. My mom didn't mind since she probably thought of this as a 'stage' of puberty and I would soon grow this stage out.

I thought I did.

Because when I found Edward, I found hope.

I hid it because I thought wouldn't use it anymore but did not have the heart to throw it out. It reminded me of the hard life I had in Phoenix, and to remind me that I should not abuse all the attention I get here in Forks.

I thought I would never use it anymore.

I guess I was wrong.

I pulled one of them out, closed my eyes, and slowly positioned it to my wrist.

_No Bella! _A voice in my mind said.

_He betrayed you Bella. _Another voice debated over the other one.

_You didn't hear him out. _The first voice said.

_You saw him! _The second one said.

_You still love him! _The first voice reasoned.

_That's why you have to do this! You love him but he doesn't love you anymore! You're alone again._ The second voice retorted.

The second voice was right.

I applied a little pressure to it; soon I began feeling pain and then a nauseous feeling.

_He doesn't love you, Bella. _The monster voice said in my mind.

The rusty-salty smell of blood rushed through my nose as the scar in my wrist continued to ooze the life liquid.

_You're alone. They hate you. No one loves you. No one cares for you. _The second voice continued.

I felt nauseous, but I fought it.

_You're an outcast. You deserve no one._ It seethed into my mind.

I lifted it up and did it two more times, before I stopped and wiped it on my shirt and placed it back on the box, which I placed under my bed.

Just like before.

I got a bandage from my dresser and began wrapping my self-inflicted wound.

I kept the roses to signify on what I planned to do tomorrow…

Confront Edward.

Confront the ditz.

Confront the Cullens…

I was not able to sleep peacefully, since I knew that there were no cool arms wrapped around my waist.

No one to sing me my lullaby.

For the first time in such a long duration…

I felt alone once more.

**_Since you left me baby I've been steady cryin'  
Wonderin' if you ever really truly loved me  
I'll never give my heart again_**

**_

* * *

_**

Please Read and Review.

The more reviews the faster.


	6. Confrontations

**Chapter 5: Confrontations**

I woke up the next day, hurrying to the bathroom. I took a glance into the mirror, and saw someone I did not recognize ever since I met Edward Cullen. It was a girl, her chocolate brown eyes, were lone, dull and lifeless. The gleam that I used to see when I glanced into this mirror is gone. The little shine on her hair disappeared, the pale complexion she had now, become even lighter with a little yellowish tint, signifying that her body had not gotten enough nutrients and her mouth in a sad smile.

Tears were cascading down her cheeks, the little droplets ruining the stillness of the accumulated water in the sink.

I reached my hand out to the mirror…

That girl was me…

After doing my morning rituals, I carefully chose my clothes, this time wearing black long- sleeved top and simple denim jeans paired off with some rubber shoes.

I ran down, tripping, as tears began to cascade down my face. I missed Edward.

I missed the way he held his arms protectively around my waist when I was about to fall…

I miss his melodious laughter whenever I pout.

I just plainly missed him.

I clenched my jaw and wiped my tears away.

I knew I had to move on.

I looked at the time, and it was only a couple of more minutes before school starts so I ate three bites of my cereal before taking off for school.

**-0-0-0-**

I reached school and hurried to my first class seeing that I was late again. Everyone was talking about the new girl. I wonder who she is. But I have a good feeling who.

My first class for the day was bio, just great my first period and I see Edward, much worse sit next beside him. I stayed in the edge of my seat, not wanting to have any contact with my seatmate…Edward, seeing that we have been scheduled to watch another movie.

I can hear growls emitting from his throat, and I noticed that his eyes were pitch black, he could smell the blood, from my cut last night. I know it would be pointless trying to tell him lies, because Alice would've already told him what I've done.

So I decided that I tell him the truth when he asks me about it.

It was all his and that slut's fault anyway.

When the movie finally ended and the lights were clicked opened. I saw Edward just sitting there, his hands curled into fists, his face looking down.

I stood up and practically ran my way towards the door, but not without tripping. I knew it was impossible for me to go stealthily because of his hearing and all my tripping.

I glanced back at him, seeing that he was still in the same position that I saw him earlier on, I rushed to get out of the room and into my next class.

Eric, seeing that Mike was with Jessica and I was with no one, decided to be my Labrador for the day and started to walk beside me.

"Would you mind if I walked with you to your next class, Trig? Since we both have it this period?" Eric said shyly, his face cast downwards.

The truth be told, I didn't notice him until he spoke up. He was already doing me a favor of accompanying me so I nodded.

"So Bella, I heard that you and Edward broke up and that he replaced you for that new student." He said, with remorse in his voice.

I looked at him in disbelief. "Who said this Eric?"

He blushed in embarrassment. "Uhm, I overheard two girls talking, but I didn't recognize them."

I curled my palms into fists in anger. We continued to walk in silence.

We entered just as the bell rang. Seeing that Angela was already there and reserved me a seat beside her, made my head cool off. A little.

"So, Angela thanks." I shot her a grateful smile before I faced up front and listen to Mr. Hubbard who talked about the Pythagorean Theorem.

Lunch came and I sat separately from the Cullens who now had the ditz with them. I sat with Angela, Lauren and Jessica on a different table, separate from Mike and all the others.

Silence

"So Bella…" Jessica started, breaking the silence. I looked up to her, acknowledging her to continue on. "I-I h-heard that…" She stuttered.

"That what Jessica?" My voice was perfectly even, I retained my composure as I began toying with my food by fiddling it with a fork.

"That Edward broke up with you because he liked the new girl more than he liked you." She said in a very fast manner but I was able to pick up every word.

"And where did you hear that?" My voice never changed, but inside I was flaring with anger that I was ready to explode.

"Some seniors started talking since you weren't talking to Edward today and because you kept avoiding him." She explained with a fear in her voice.

"It's not true Jess." I said to her, though I sounded like I was convincing myself rather than convincing Jess. I stood up and ran my way out towards the Girls' Bathroom and into the cubicle.

"It's not true…it's not fair" Then I cried my heart out, until five minutes before the bell, Jessica, Angela and Lauren…the only friends I have left went into the bathroom to coax me out the cubicle and get to classes.

I straightened myself and splashed some water into my face, looking refreshed on the outside…but on the inside, I was wilting and dying.

As I passed the hallway, I heard different statements from different people…

"That new girl is gorgeous.."

"What's her name again?"

"I heard that Edward broke up with Bella because of her…"

"Shit Bella is free…I'm gonna take my chances."

"Good have you seen that new girl's body?"

"What?! Cullen is with her now?!"

"How is Bella coping up with this?!

I had Spanish next and I rushed into the room, trying not to fall, which I succeeded in doing. It was the class electives Edward and I planned to take and chose to take.

I sat on the chair farthest from him. Then I the door opened everyone gasped including me and excluding Edward. It was the blonde ditz, she was heading towards me. I looked around frantically in the room to find out that the only seat available was right next to me, I had no choice, and it was either beside her or beside Edward. I chose the former. She sat down gracefully and faced me, just right after our Spanish teacher, Mr. Ferrer entered.

"Hey…I'm guessing you must be Bella." She started.

The teacher already settled and was writing something on the board.

I felt my blood boil. She knew what happened, she saw me. She knew that I saw her kiss Edward, and yet here she was talking to me like we knew each other

Fat chance.

Then a slap was heard on the whole class, and everyone looked around to see who it was. My mind registered shock as I realized what I did. Good thing was people disregarded it as fast as they heard it as they saw no one, because I was fast enough to withdraw my hand.

**0-0-0**

I was already in my faithful Chevy as I began recall what happened in the past fifteen minutes.

**-Insert Prologue Here-**

Just when I started the engine of my old-enough-to-be-my-grandfather trusted Chevy, I took one last glance at the entrance of the school to see…

To see Edward and his family…

They were walking towards Edward's silver Volvo. But when I looked more, I realized, towards me. After the realization registered into my brain, I drove as fast as possible and as fast as the ancient truck could take me.

I started to feel hot liquid down my eyes. I instantly recognized them.

Tears.

I've been crying ever since the incident, one day, I wont be surprise that I won't be able to cry anymore.

My head was down as I went down my truck and the wind began to blow, ruffling my hair. The cold wind making contact with my skin made me miss the coldness of Edward's hand or his breath.

The cool, fresh, crisp scent the wind brought with it reminded me of the refreshing, calming scent Edward always has with him.

It seems that these days, everything reminds me of him.

I ran to the house, successfully tripping thrice. I got into my room, got my toiletries and ran back to the communal bathroom. I love the water.

The warm water, the warm drops that jet through my body.

It's my solace.

My escape from reality.

It makes me momentarily forget all my problems.

Momentarily forget everything.

But just like all the good times. It had to stop.

I dressed up an ancient sweatshirt and my Gym pants I used last year.

I walked up to my room, and gasped to see who was there…sitting.

**-End of Chapter… kidding-**

It was Edward. He was sitting there, looking like the perfect vampire I first fell in love with, but with the most melancholy gleam in his eyes. I shook my head and hardened my heart.

"Bella…" He started. "First of all, I'm sorry. It was never meant like that. It would be better if…"

"Better if what, Edward?! I saw you, you bastard! You didn't budge hell you didn't even react! You didn't even push her away!" I started, tears streaming down once more.

"Bella…" He sighed. "Why did you slap her?" Then he touched my wrist, which I cut purposely, "Why did you do this?"

"Why did I slap her?" I started to laugh now. "Why did I slap her?!" I raised my voice. "I slapped her because she acted like nothing happened, like she didn't kiss my boyfriend in front of me, then she talks to me like we're friends?! Who the hell does that SLUT think she is?!" I shouted. "And I did this..." I flashed my wrist in front of his face; and his eyes went pitch black again. "…because I felt like the most played and crappy person on Earth when you were off having a good time kissing her."

"First of all, her name is Louisa…and she…" He trailed off.

"And now your defending her?!" I roared. "Goddamnit Edward! Just leave! Out of my house and out of my life. I see it now, I was just a temporary plaything until your vampire lover comes back?! What the hell Edward, you're the first man I ever loved, and you did this to me." I fell down to my knees, my cries turning into hysterical sobbing.

"Bella, I can explain how and why she kissed me." Edward came nearer to me.

"No Edward!" I raised my hand up to silence him and let him stop his continued advances towards me. "Just go. I need to think. Just go away."

And he did…

He did go, I heard him open the window and jump from it.

I looked to the open window, and on the sill was a note.

A note from Edward.

Written in his elegant script were three lines, which made me cry louder that I think the Cullens would've heard me from their house

_**And no matter what you say  
I won't go away  
I won't go away**_


	7. Dandelions

**Chapter**** 6: Dandelions**

How could he do this to me? First he kisses someone else…and then now he says that he won't leave me. I held on to that paper as if my life depended on it. Whatever happens, a part of me already has forgiven Edward. Or maybe I have already forgiven Edward…maybe I just refused to acknowledge it.

No. I can't forgive him. He should have at least tried to push her off. Maybe I've already been resigned to the fact that he does not love me anymore, the fact that I was just temporary for him. The fact that Louisa was the reason he refused to change me. The reason why he was so decided against changing me was because he already had someone whom he'll share his eternity with.

And for certain, that someone is not me.

Fresh batch of tears came once more. I can't seem to stop crying these days. And every time I see him, my heart seems to break into tinier pieces.

Making it much harder to mend.

I decided to get downstairs and cook Charlie some dinner so that he wouldn't notice that I was most definitely bawling my eyes out. He'd probably heard what happened with Edward. In this town where parents knew their kid's dances, I wouldn't be surprised.

I just cooked whatever popped into my mind first. Mac and cheese. I started preparing the ingredients while I was thinking about Edward. I was cooking the food while I was thinking about Edward. If there's one thing I'm good at besides crying…it's thinking about Edward.

I guess everything just seems so…surreal now. As if my whole relationship with Edward was nothing but a vivid dream. But I had proof that it wasn't. I have the scars on my wrist as proof. If I look into the mirror and see my tear stained face, that's proof. And if I go out and find the meadow still existing, that is proof.

I finally finished what I was cooking and wrote a note for Charlie that he just needs t heat it and that I already ate and I need some rest and then I went up.

I sat on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest, thinking about what had transpired in the past days. Everything just seems to happen to fast now. I can still remember our first time at the meadow…

_"You are the most important thing to me now. __The most important thing to me ever."_

I can still recall the exact scene when he'd said that. The intensity of the emotions that are hidden in his eyes, the palpable restraints he had not to kill me, the control he had not to go farther than what was safe.

Now I feel that I am nothing at all to him. I don't matter anymore. I'm just a paragraph in his stupid book of life.

I fixed my alarm clock and then lied down; figuring that the best way to fall asleep is by thinking.

I started to think of the resolution I planned on my way home.

And then I finally fell asleep.

**0-0-0**

I woke up in the sound of my alarm clock, since there was no _him_ to wake me up every morning anymore. Probably busy having a make out session with Louisa every fifteen minutes.

I will start on a habit, never mentioning _his _name.

When someone asks me where Edward is…

I'll answer them back, Edward who?

He's gone from my life.

He doesn't exist anymore.

Or at least I slowly try to pretend.

All the things that he'd given, all his pictures and everything that reminds me of him…will be…

Gone.

Trashed.

Burned.

Torn.

Thrown.

Buried.

Hidden.

Destroyed.

Forgotten.

I know it's cruel but what he did to me was cruel too. And if I want to move on and forget…I just have to do it. Never in my imagination had I pictured this day coming. He said that he loved me very much. All those things that he said about where his affections lay and his love for me made me think that this situation that I am in right now is unfathomable. Now…look what it made me. Look where it got me.

Maybe I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. After all…I am only human and Edward…he's…_perfect._ That's why he'd pick Louisa over me any day. It's because she's perfect…and I'm a human with faults. I'm clumsy. I'm not beautiful. I'm not a vampire like him. I'm not perfect.

I finally stand up from the bed and slowly made my way towards the bathroom. I tried to hold my breath as I shampooed my hair. The strawberry scent of my shampoo painfully reminds of how much he loved the scent of my hair. But I'm no vampire. I can't indefinitely hold my breath like _they_ can so I had to breathe. As the smell of my shampoo hit my nose, I began to cry. It was too much. The painful wave of nostalgia with my days with him hit me like a… like a…baseball bat hits the baseball.

Okay…now that I thought about it…my nostalgia analogy sucked. But hey…when your heart's broken and all you ever do is cry and think about that person…why bother think about proper analogies?

I finally finished showering and now rushed into my room to pick what clothes to wear. I decided that being a bit daring with my choice of apparel wouldn't really matter to him and his family.

So I opened my new dresser, now filled with more clothes, courtesy of the shopping therapy with Angela, Lauren and Jessica.

I chose a black sleeveless top, the dark washed skinny jeans that Lauren insisted I buy and black ballet flats. Heels are out of the question because during one of the days where I was in utmost unproductivity, I made an equation.

Bella plus heels equals fracture and or concussion equals hospital and or death.

So unless I practice my walking and not trip for about 50 meters then I can wear heels. I think.

After I blow dried my hair, leaving it shiny, voluminous and perfectly wavy, I tied it in a half ponytail.

After one quick glance in the mirror, I deemed myself decent, I went down to eat breakfast. And when I finally reached the kitchen, I started to hyperventilate.

There, in our dining table…is a fully prepared breakfast: ham, bacon, sunny side up egg, rice and orange juice. I already knew who it was. I sat down on my usual seat at the dinner table, everything was fixed. The glass with the juice, the plate, the utensils. I can't help but cry.

Maybe this was his final saying way of goodbye. Since he won't be seeing anymore human moments from me, he's probably out there, watching for the final time.

I looked up and blinked furiously, trying to stop the continuous fall of the tears. But I just couldn't. I guess this was the price of naivety.

Disappointment.

Hurt.

Confusion.

Frustration.

Melancholy.

Yearning.

All of those I feel right now. Everything is just swirling it's like you want to laugh, cry, shout and jump all at the same time. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not yet reduced to insanity yet. Maybe because of that small part of me that clings to the hope that Edward still loves me is keeping me intact.

I finally finish eating in between the crying, contemplation and sniffing. I dump the dishes in the sink so I can wash them later. I got the keys of my truck hanging from a hook by the door and started to walk towards my truck but I trip and fell. I sighed. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Disappointed because there was no one to catch me.

Relieved because he wasn't there to catch me.

All these emotions come to me all at the same time; sometimes I don't know what to feel anymore. My mind is so confused that I want to shout all my frustrations out. If this continues I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in a mental asylum. I think I'm becoming insane.

I drove out of the driveway and began to make my way to school. My driving speed's only 20, I wanted to take as long as possible.

The thought of seeing him and her together makes me want to break down and cry. But hey, at least even for a short while, I felt loved, even though it wasn't real.

I finally see the Forks High School in view and sighed. I changed parking spot, specifically farther from a certain silver Volvo. I'm now parking on the direction that's completely opposite to where I used to park beside them. I get out of my truck and walk towards my locker.

I saw Angela by the parking lot so I decided to go to her.

"Hey Ang." I try to say nonchalantly.

"Hey Bella!" She greets me cheerfully. "Nice outfit today!" She added.

I looked down in embarrassment. "Thanks. I guess this was a little too much for me."

"No! You look absolutely brilliant!" She beamed at me. "Jess and Lauren would be proud!"I smiled at her.

As soon as I reached my locker I waved at her and began to punch in the combination. As she went to our first period to save me a seat beside her and Jess Inside my locker there was a sealed envelope. And in the back it said, _Bella_. It was a script I knew and grew to love. It was from him. I picked up the envelope and shoved it in my bag. I don't think I can bear to open and see what's inside. I closed the locker and began to walk to my first class, Trig. As I passed by the hallway, I heard whistles and comments of appreciation from everyone.

_"Looking good Bella!"_

_"__Wanna__ go out with me?!"_

_"Cullen is missing out on a LOT!"_

I look down in embarrassment. Thinking that this really was a bad idea. I continue to look down until I reach the classroom. I share this classroom with him and his other sister, Alice, but luckily I also share this class with Angela and Jessica.

"Bella!" Jessica called to me. Angela was already sitting down right beside her.

"Here, we saved you a seat." Angela told me , point to a seat near Jessica and by the wall.

"Thanks guys. Really." I smiled at them appreciatively.

"Congratulation Bella!" Jessica gave me a very, very smug look.

"What? I didn't win anything." I grin.

"You are totally gorgeous in that outfit. Well it seems that you learned something from our shopping. Maybe we should go out more." Her smug look was now a Cheshire cat smile.

"Oh shut up Jess! I shopped more than enough to last me for a month!" I laugh heartily, Angela and Jessica joined me. Bt all the laughter subsided when Alice and him entered the room. Alice looked at me, I smiled faintly at her. I don't hate her as much as I hate him, but she did try to cover up for him, so I guess that counts as something. But when he looked in my direction, I immediately looked to Angela and Jessica who seemed to understand what was going on.

I sigh. "It's going to be okay Bells." Angela told me. And I nodded and looked up, making the tears threatening to fall disappear. Mr. Varner already arrived and began to write today's lecture on the board. I copied what needs to be copied and tried to pay attention. It took all of my will power not to look at him or Alice.

The bell finally rang and Ang and I made our way to Bio, Jess has her electives, which was Art. I dreaded Bio. Because I get to share a table with him. It so ironic, on my first day here at Forks, he was the one who stays away from me; now, I stay away from him.

I sit down and let my hair fall to one side, like what I did before, but now for a whole different purpose. I can feel him staring at me the whole time. But I didn't budge. Right now, I just listened to Mr. Banner drawl about cell fusion. I look at Angela, who was four seats away from me and she nodded at me in sympathy.

I wish this didn't happen. If it didn't, I'd actually be staying near him, and not staying on the very tip my seat as if he's got some kind of disease.

The bell finally rang after what seemed like forever. I make my way to Angela, who nodded at me and stood up. We made our way towards the cafeteria where Jessica and Lauren were waiting for us in a table. Lauren was beaming at me.

"Very nice Bella!" Lauren said as we reached the table.

"Thanks." I mutter as I feel myself turn red.

I see Lauren look at their table and smirks.

"Cullen is staring at you." She says slyly. "Good job Bella." She winks. I smile in embarrassment knowing that they can hear every word we say and that he can read minds.

"Anyways. What's today's game plan?" Jess smiled.

"I'm going to do any pending chores." I answer.

"No girls out for today?" Angela asked.

"No for me. Maybe some other time?" I say faintly.

"Sure. From what I heard, some La Push boys are planning a party at First Beach next Saturday, I think." Jess suggested.

"We'll see what happens. We still have a whole week." I mumbled.

Jess and Lauren started to talk about the latest issue of Cosmopolitan while Angela and I talked about the lesson we had earlier in Bio. After a few more minutes, the bell finally rings.

I rushed into Government which, luckily passed away quite quickly, although we have to write an essay regarding the constitution. Then Spanish, luckily, Ang was taking this so I can sit right beside her instead of enduring an hour with him and his vampire lover.

**0-0-0**

Spanish finally ended and I managed to get through with the period and not stare at him or his girl friend. It's so painful to say that. I mean, the wounds are still fresh. But I have to get used to it.

As I walk with Angela going to Gym, we were both lost in our own thoughts. My mind was running wild about Louisa and Edward.

_You are not Edward Cullen's girlfriend anymore. He does not love you anymore. And he probably never did. He loves __Louisa__Louisa__ and Edward __are__ a match made in heaven. I am just a measly human. I cannot interfere with them._

I blink back another batch of tears threatening to fall. Angela sees this and puts a comforting arm on my shoulder. I want to just break down and cry. But I controlled myself not to. I save these moments when I'm alone.

Angela tapped me on the shoulder to see that we were already in front of the gym. I smile at her and we go to change in the locker room.

Luckily Coach Clapp decided that he doesn't want to cause any injuries today so he decided to keep me on the bench for the whole period. In my head, I'm thanking him very, very profoundly.

We finally get dismissed and I make my way home. This day wasn't that bad if I think about him less and less. I continue to drive in silence until I finally I had to stop since I was home. Something was bugging me to read that letter, but I didn't want. To, I just don't want to be reminded of him. Besides, it would go against the resolution I myself set up. So, what I did was I rushed going up the stairs but not before tripping and then hid the letter in the deepest part of my dresser. I went to shower and took my time there. While singing to the song I heard earlier.

_**He's a dandelion, up on his cliff above the sea.**_

_**He's not exactly everything I thought that he might be.**_


	8. Something To Believe

I may be back now. Not yet sure. Uhm, to my BETA's I'm sorry! I'm back now. Haha! Eurm...this is a filler/intermission. I need to organize my thoughts. I need inspiration.

* * *

I finally finished showering and went to my room. I was drying my hair when I noticed something on my desk by the computer. It was another letter. With a note attached.

_Bella._

_You have to read this please. This is for your safety. _

_Edward._

I saw the note and felt anger surge towards me. How dare he enter my house. He is not welcome here anymore. He has never been ever since I saw what he did. Ever since I knew of his deception. I got the other letter from my bag and got the new one and hid it under the loose floorboards in my room.

For the day when I get enough courage to read it.

Thoughts running into my mind on what the letter would contain, but one thought made the tears come down easily.

You are now invited to the wedding of…

I stopped. I couldn't think about that anymore.

It was going against the resolution I made for myself.

I sat down on my bed and got my CD player from the bedside drawer. As I listened to the first song, I changed it, it reminded me of him. The next song did too, and the song after that. I stopped the CD player. I took the CD and threw it away. It reminded me too much of him. I'm going to start listening to other kinds of music now. Or maybe even less. I know that's going to be hard. Music has been my constant companion through the years. When there was no one else, music has been there for me.

I wiped the tears away from my face and went down. I almost forgot that I had to make Charlie dinner. I made him the simplest meal I could think of. Pasta. I did everything in complete silence and contemplation.

I heard the cruiser pull up on the drive way and I immediately checked my reflection on a nearby mirror. Almost all traces of crying had vanished, except for my eyes, but it could pass as mere exhaustion.

I heard Charlie step into the porch and open the door.

"Hi dad!" I shouted.

"Hey Bells. What's cooking?" He asked me.

"Pasta for tonight." I called back and looked at him, I saw him putting his holster in the hook by the door.

"Smells great Bells." He grinned at me but frowned after a few seconds. "Bella, get some sleep. You look absolutely drained. You have been for the past days." His face was etched with concern.

"I will dad, just let me finish this." I grinned at him and pointed at the cooking pasta.

"Alright, alright." He told me as he sighed and sat down on the couch. I saw his face brighten as he saw a game going on. I smiled.

I began humming a random tune and then stopped. Big mistake. It was the lullaby that he made for me. The one that he claimed that he made only for me. Tears started to fall again. I forced myself to stop crying.

"Dad. The pasta is done. You just need to pour the sauce over it if you want to. I'm going to get some rest. Like you told me." I called out to Charlie, my chin to my chest, my hair making a curtain.

I slowly went up the stairs but I tripped.

"Careful Bells." Charlie warned. He was about to stand up from his seat.

I help up a hand to stop him. "I'm fine dad, it's okay, go back to eating." I told him and I saw his face slowly relax. I tried to conjure my best grin but I think ended up as a grimace instead.

I now took that as a lesson learned and began to move slowly, as if the weight of the world in my shoulders. As soon as I reached the inside of my room, the tears started to come out. I made sure to lock my room and the windows and then I collapsed on the floor.

The crying had made me exhausted. Physically and mentally. Everything seemed to hurt now.

I curled up in a ball in the middle of my room. I found myself going into sleep faster than usual.

I smiled. Everything was going dark.

**-0-0-0-**

I woke up with my back aching and my muscles sore. I slowly stood up, hugging myself. I got my toiletries and made my way to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The world seems to be duller now. Everything is not how I turned out to be. He not only showed me the shade of white but also the shade of black.

There are two sides of a coin. I've seen both now. Everything has its other side. Even him.

I stood up slowly and made my way towards my dresser, I seem to do things monotonous now.

Everything seemed to have no purpose now.

**_So give me something to believe_**

**_Cause I am living just to breathe_**


	9. Farewell

Dear Readers,

As you all have noticed, I've stopped updating years ago, and this is due to the fact that I have lost interest in the Twilight Saga, however, I do believe that some of the plotlines I've made are quite nice to just throw away, so I would like to invite people who are interested to adopt and continue my stories.

Please feel free to email me and correspond with me regarding this matter, I'm more than happy to give up the story to you, should you be willing to finish it. My email address is posted in my profile, don't hesitate.

To those who will adopt this, thank you. Check my page for more stories.

**Nix.**


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